Water Bottles
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If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote - Water Bottle
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Zen as fuck - Water Bottle
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Yorkshire sayings - Water Bottle
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Trauma Do you mean the reason why I'm so fucking hilarious - Water Bottle
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Today’s forecast 100% chance of bullshit. 0% chance of giving a fuck - Water Bottle
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Sometimes practicing gratitude sounds like 'thank fuck for that' - Water Bottle
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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap more people at once - Water Bottle
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Skull moth - Water Bottle
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Proudly sponsored by blood, sweat and tears but mostly wine - Water Bottle
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People can be anything they want and yet some of them choose to be stupid - Water Bottle
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Pentagram wreath - Water Bottle
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Out of all the therapies that I tried, only retail really works - Water Bottle
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Oh my days - Water Bottle
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Of course I talk like an idiot. How else would you understand me - Cermic Mug
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No one is coming to save you, You are the adult I'm so sorry - Water Bottle
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Mystic moth - Water Bottle
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Mystic moon - Water Bottle
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Let's have a moment of silence for all those people dying for attention - Water Bottle
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Let’s see which emotional issues should I bury under layers of sarcasm today - Water Bottle
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Karmasutra When life screws you in all kinds of creative ways - Water Bottle
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I've googled my symptoms.Turns out that I have a bullshit intolerance - Water Bottle
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I'm a YOUR TEXT I work harder than ugly strippers - Personalised Water Bottle
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I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time - Water Bottle
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I should be paid more for the amount of idiocy I need to deal with - Water Bottle
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I might leave work early today, for whatever excuse you’ll believe - Water Bottle
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I like to leave people more confused than how I found them - Water Bottle
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Future MILF - Water Bottle
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Ey up - Water Bottle
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Drink responsibly? Responsibilities are the reason I drink - Water Bottle
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Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often - Water Bottle
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Don’t forget to drink your water and mind your own business this week - Water Bottle
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Contains no fucks - Water bottle
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Bossing it - Water Bottle
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Before you ask me anything, ask yourself if you want to hear my answer - Water Bottle
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Becoming an adult was the stupidest thing I have ever done - Water Bottle
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A wise woman once said fuck this shit and she lived happily ever after - Water Bottle
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Be reyt - Water bottle
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Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They are all out of batteries - Water Bottle
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I’m full of love, laughter and a whole lot of what the fuck - Water Bottle
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Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they are dead - Water Bottle
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When I said 'How stupid can you be?' it wasn't a challenge - Water Bottle
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I'm running entirely on sarcasm and inappropriate thoughts - Water Bottle
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The path to inner peace begins with four words: Not my fucking problem - Water Bottle
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I'm sarcastic because telling people to go fuck themselves is apparently rude - Water Bottle
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A day without sarcasm probably wouldn’t kill me, but why risk it - Water Bottle
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Some days my supply of available fucks to give is insufficient for the demand - Water Bottle
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I’m not trying to insult people. I’m just good at describing them - Water Bottle
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I'm Really Not Funny. I'm Just Mean And People Think I'm Joking Water Bottle
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Don't Worry What People Think. They Don't Do It Very Often - Water Bottle
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I Swear I Have It All Together. I Just Forgot Where I Put It - Water Bottle
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I'm Not Sarcastic. I'm Just A Funny Person Surrounded By Idiots Water Bottle
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I Wouldn't Have To Manage My Anger If People Managed Their Stupidity Water Bottle
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Poor Planning On Your Part Does Not Constitute An Emergency On Mine Water Bottle
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There is someone for everyone. For some, it’s a psychiatrist - Water Bottle
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You can’t possibly still be shocked by what’s coming out of my mouth - Water Bottle
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Being sarcastic and being sincere sounds surprisingly similar - Water Bottle
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‘We don’t lick people’ is the biggest lie we tell children - Water Bottle
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I wonder how many people listen to me and think if I get psychiatric help - Water Bottle
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I have a very peopley job for a person who doesn’t like people - Water Bottle
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I’m glad that my thoughts don’t appear in speech bubbles over my head - Water Bottle
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Apparently, alcohol is not the way to improve staff meetings - Water Bottle
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I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves - Water Bottle
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Daily reminder some people are here just to test your patience - Water Bottle
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I won't be remembered as a person who keeps their mouth shut - Water Bottle
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I hate when people don't get my sarcasm because I now sound like a bully - Water Bottle
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Some people are like twunts. Because twat and cunt just isn't enough - Water Bottle
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Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions - Water Bottle
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I really want to be nice to people but some of you dickheads - Water Bottle
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Some days the supply of available profanities is insufficient for my demand - Water Bottle
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You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give - Water Bottle
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There We Are Then - Water Bottle
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As blunt as I may seem, I don't say half of what I'm thinking - Water Bottle
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I am not as mean as I could be and I want people to be more grateful for that - Water Bottle
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My people skills are exeptional. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work - Water Bottle
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