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You are my cup of tea - Tumbler
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You are having a laugh - Tumbler
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What doesn't kill you disappoints me - Tumbler
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We drink coffee in this place - Tumbler
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Understaffed & Overstimulated - Tumbler
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Underestimate me. That'll be fun - Tumbler
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Today’s mood is sponsored by coffee, sarcasm and trauma - Tumbler
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The most stable thing in my life is my coffee routine - Tumbler
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The devil whispered I'm coming for you. I whispered back bring coffee - Tumbler
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Tea is my love language - Tumbler
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Stupid people shouldn’t breed - Tumbler
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Sorry for what I said before coffee - Tumbler
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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap more people at once - Tumbler
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Someone's crazy ex - Tumbler
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Some people are just a waste of evolution - Tumbler
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Shhh, no one cares - Tumbler
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Proudly sponsored by blood, sweat and tears but mostly wine - Tumbler
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Proud member of the overcaffeinated club - Tumbler
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Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They are all out of batteries - Tumbler
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Pirates In Sailboats Seek Out Fabulous Fortunes - Tumbler
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People can be anything they want and yet some of them choose to be stupid - Tumbler
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Penguins In Santa Suits Offer Fresh Fish - Tumbler
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Out of all the therapies that I tried, only retail really works - Tumbler
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Oh my days - Tumbler
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Of course I talk like an idiot. How else would you understand me - Tumbler
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No one is coming to save you, You are the adult I'm so sorry - Tumbler
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My wife's husband is freaking awesome - Tumbler
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My husband's wife is freaking awesome - Tumbler
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Make common sense common again - Tumbler
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Life's good. You should get one - Tumbler
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Life Is What Happens Between Coffee And Wine - Tumbler
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Life happens, coffee helps - Tumbler
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Life begins after coffee - Tumbler
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Let’s see which emotional issues should I bury under layers of sarcasm today - Tumbler
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Let's have a moment of silence for all those people dying for attention - Tumbler
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Karmasutra When life screws you in all kinds of creative ways - Tumbler
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Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt - Tumbler
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It's hard to smile and nod when all I want to do is slap people in their faces - Tumbler
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If you hear me shouting at my children, just know, that I said it nicely 37 times - Tumbler
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If you don’t like sarcasm, don’t ask me stupid questions - Tumbler
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If you don’t like me, breathe in and out. There’s literally nothing else you can do - Tumbler
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If only sarcasm burned calories - Tumbler
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If I'm too much, go find less - Tumbler
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If I'm holding a book, pretend I'm invisible - Tumbler
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If I ever say 'First Of All' - Tumbler
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I’m sorry, am I too sarcastic today - Tumbler
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got nothing to do - Tumbler
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no work to do - Tumbler
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no laundry to do - Tumbler
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I'm not sarcastic. I'm just a funny person surrounded by idiots - Tumbler
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I’m not lazy. I act my wage - Tumbler
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I'm not here to fit in. I'm here to stand out - Tumbler
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I'm just WTF-ing my way through life - Tumbler
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I'm just FFS-ing my way through llife - Tumbler
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I’m just an awkward, foul mouthed sarcastic delight - Tumbler
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I'm here. I'm awake. Don't push it - Tumbler
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I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time - Tumbler
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I'm allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm - Tumbler
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I'm all peopled out - Tumbler
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I'm a YOUR TEXT I work harder than ugly strippers - Personalised Tumbler
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I'm a tea enthusiast. The more tea I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Tumbler
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I'm a coffee enthusiast. The more coffee I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Tumbler
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I'd be too powerful if I was mentally stable - Tumbler
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I won't die without coffee, But you might - Tumbler
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I wish stupid people came with the mute button - Tumbler
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I was once a people person. But people ruined that for me. Now I'm a coffee person - Tumbler
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I tried to be normal once. Worst experience ever - Tumbler
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I should be paid more for the amount of idiocy I need to deal with - Tumbler
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I might leave work early today, for whatever excuse you’ll believe - Tumbler
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I like to leave people more confused than how I found them - Tumbler
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I know I don’t need to be sarcastic but people have given me so much material to work with and I hate being wasteful - Tumbler
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I have finally discovered what’s wrong with people. On the left side of their brains, there’s nothing right, and on the right side, there’s nothing left - Tumbler
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I have a face with subtitles - Tumber
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I drink coffee for your protection - Tumbler
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I don't rise and shine. I caffeinate & hope for the best - Tumbler
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I don't need a motivational quote. I need coffee - Tumbler
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I don't have the energy today to pretend I like people - Tumbler
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I believe in being annoyed at first sight - Tumbler
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I am freaking awesome - Tumbler
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Hoping that my coffee kicks in before the reality does - Tumbler
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Honestly, nobody cares - Tumbler
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Happy wife, happy life - Tumbler
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Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot - Tumbler
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Future Sugar Daddy - Tumbler
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Future MILF - Tumbler
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Embracing the glorious mess that I am - Tumbler
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Drink responsibly? Responsilibities are the reason I drink! - Tumbler
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Don't forget to drink your water and mind your own business this week - Tumbler
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Does the process know we trust it - Tumbler
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Death before decaf - Tumbler
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Dear life, could you at least use lube - Tumbler
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Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed - Tumbler
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Common sense is not that common - Tumbler
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Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc, and I don't give eeffoc until I had my coffee - Tumbler
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Coffee because crack is bad for you - Tumbler
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Bossing it - Tumbler
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Before you ask me anything, ask yourself if you want to hear my answer - Tumbler
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Becoming an adult was the stupidest thing I have ever done - Tumbler
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Assholery no longer tolerated - Tumbler
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Zen as fuck - Tumbler
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You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give - Tumbler
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Trauma? Do you mean the reason why I'm so fucking hilarious? - Tumbler
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Too early for wine - Tumbler
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Too busy for bullshit - Tumbler
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Today’s plan: fuck it! - Tumbler
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Today’s forecast 100% chance of bullshit. 0% chance of giving a fuck - Tumbler
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This is my daily dose of 300ml of fuckitall - Tumbler
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Taking it one ‘are you fucking kidding me’ at a time - Tumbler
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Sometimes practicing gratitude sounds like 'thank fuck for that' - Tumbler
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Sometimes I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or everyone around me is just fucking stupid - Tumbler
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Perfect brew - Tumbler
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Life hack: avoid dickheads not carbohydrates - Tumbler
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It's called karma and it's pronounced get fucked - Tumbler
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I've googled my symptoms.Turns out that I have a bullshit intolerance - Tumbler
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no shit to do - Tumbler
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I'm in my 'leave me the fuck alone era' - Tumbler
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I’m in a pretty good mood today. I’ll probably tell you to fuck off, but I’ll have a smile on my face. I might not even give you the finger - Tumbler
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I refer to myself as a ‘free spirit’ because it sounds better than ‘out of fucking control' - Tumbler
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Fuck: off, me, no, that, you checklist - Tumbler
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Error. Give a fuck file failed to load - Tumbler
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Don’t you sometimes just want to say: you can’t possibly be that fucking stupid? - Tumbler
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Didn’t care yesterday. Don’t give a shit today. Most likely won’t give a fuck tomorrow - Tumbler
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Did you know that there’s a medicine for what you suffer from? It’s called cuntybiotics - Tumbler
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Contains no fucks - Tumbler
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Can you see my last flying fuck steaming away? - Tumbler
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Accuntibility being angry at yourself for being a cunt, not at others for calling you a cunt - Tumbler
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A wise woman once said 'fuck this shit and she lived happily ever after' - Tumbler
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