Slogans

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Very I hate people. Very leave me alone. Very go away - Ceramic Mug
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Very mind your own business. Very couldn’t care less. Very don’t give a monkey’s - Ceramic Mug
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Someone’s therapist knows all about you - Ceramic Mug
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Some people don’t have an inner child. They have an inner idiot - Ceramic Mug
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I’m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I’m pretty sure it has rabies - Ceramic Mug
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I’m kind of a lady, but definitely more of a weirdo - Ceramic Mug
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I have a really good heart, but I also have a smart mouth and I’m a little mean - Ceramic Mug
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I actually have a pretty large vocabulary for someone who swears so often - Ceramic Mug
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I know I have right to remain silent. I just don't have the ability - Ceramic Mug
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Mystery Design - Ceramic Mug
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Funny Affirmations - Ceramic Mug
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Straight outta low-key Ohio - Ceramic Mug
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Some people are not here to evolve. They are here to remind us what it looks if we don't - Ceramic Mug
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I drink responsibly. You won't see me spilling my drinks - Ceramic Mug
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Here for the drama - Ceramic Mug
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Moody as fook - Ceramic Mug
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No email has ever found me well - Ceramic Mug
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It's all fun and games until HR finds out - Ceramic Mug
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I draw boobs in every meeting - Ceramic Mug
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If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote - Ceramic Mug
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If I'm holding a book, pretend I'm invisible - Ceramic Mug
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I have a face with subtitles - Ceramic Mug
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A Day Without Sarcasm Probably Wouldn't Kill Me, But Why Risk It - Ceramic Mug
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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Nope? Me neither - Ceramic Mug
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Fuck off, me, no, that, you - Ceramic Mug
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Error. Give a fuck file failed to load - Ceramic Mug
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I am freaking awesome - Ceramic Mug
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Don't forget to drink your water and mind your own business this week - Ceramic Mug
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I'd be too powerful if I was mentally stable - Ceramic Mug
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Let's have a moment of silence for all those people dying for attention - Ceramic Mug
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Someone's crazy ex - Ceramic Mug
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Life hack avoid dickheads not carbohydrates - Ceramic Mug
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No one is coming to save you, You are the adult I'm so sorry - Ceramic Mug
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I'm here. I'm awake. Don't push it - Ceramic Mug
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Before you ask me anything, ask yourself if you want to hear my answer - Ceramic Mug
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I'm all peopled out - Ceramic Mug
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If I'm too much, go find less - Ceramic Mug
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I’m not lazy. I act my wage - Ceramic Mug
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Make common sense common again - Ceramic Mug
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I know I don’t need to be sarcastic but people have given me so much material to work with and I hate being wasteful - Ceramic Mug
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Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They are all out of batteries - Ceramic Mug
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Accuntibility: being angry at yourself for being a cunt, not at others for calling you a cunt - Ceramic Mug
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Minding your business is free - Ceramic Mug
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If you can't be kind, be quiet. Just kidding, be sarcastic - Ceramic Mug
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This killing them with kindness is taking way too long - Ceramic Mug
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I’m not sure what my future holds, but it can’t possibly be going according to plan - Ceramic Mug
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I wish I was off my tits on aperol spritz - Ceramic Mug
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My giveafuck is on holiday - Ceramic Mug
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Life is all about balance 50% namaste 50% fuck off - Ceramic Mug
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I’m full of love, laughter and a whole lot of what the fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Who left the box of dickheads open - Ceramic Mug
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Please be fucking nice. There are too many dickheads already - Ceramic Mug
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The boobs are real. The smile is fake - Ceramic Mug
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I am not as mean as I could be and I want people to be more grateful for that - Ceramic Mug
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As blunt as I may seem, I don't say half of what I'm thinking - Ceramic Mug
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You can't make this shit up - Ceramic Mug
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My people skills are exeptional. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work - Ceramic Mug
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Cacti: the only pricks worth my energy - Ceramic Mug
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This is a really bad time to be sober - Ceramic Mug
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I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, because I’m champagne - Ceramic Mug
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I suffer from severe SLAY-DHD - Ceramic Mug
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Drink responsibly? Responsilibities are the reason I drink! - Ceramic Mug
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Future Sugar Daddy - Ceramic Mug
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Future MILF - Ceramic Mug
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Understaffed & Overstimulated - Ceramic Mug
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There We Are Then - Ceramic Mug
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Teacups Whisper Among Teapots - Ceramic Mug
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Pirates In Sailboats Seek Out Fabulous Fortunes - Ceramic Mug
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Penguins In Santa Suits Offer Fresh Fish - Ceramic Mug
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Pansies In Springtime Signal Of Flourishing Flowers - Ceramic Mug
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Does the process know we trust it - Ceramic Mug
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Cuddly Unicorns Nap Together - Ceramic Mug
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Caffeine Unleashes Natural Thrills - Ceramic Mug
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You think I’m sarcastic. You should hear the things I keep to myself - Ceramic Mug
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Underestimate me. That'll be fun - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s mood is sponsored by coffee, sarcasm and trauma - Ceramic Mug
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So apparently I have an attitude - Ceramic Mug
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Shhh, no one cares - Ceramic Mug
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Life's good. You should get one - Ceramic Mug
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Keep talking. I'm totally judging you - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like sarcasm, don’t ask me stupid questions - Ceramic Mug
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If only sarcasm burned calories - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sorry, am I too sarcastic today - Ceramic Mug
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I have never faked a sarcasm - Ceramic Mug
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Hoping that my coffee kicks in before the reality does - Ceramic Mug
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Don’t take yourself too seriously. Nobody else does - Ceramic Mug
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Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed - Ceramic Mug
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Becoming an adult was the stupidest thing I have ever done - Ceramic Mug
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Proud member of the National Sarcasm Society. Like we need your help - Ceramic Mug
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Please don't be rude to me because my rude will outrude your rude and you will cry - Ceramic Mug
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I've googled my symptoms. Turns out that I have a bullshit intolerance - Ceramic Mug
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If you don’t like me, breathe in and out. There’s literally nothing else you can do - Ceramic Mug
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Taking it one ‘are you fucking kidding me’ at a time - Ceramic Mug
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I’ve hit a whole new level of not giving a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s plan FUCK IT! - Ceramic Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Leave me alone - Ceramic Mug
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Do not disturb me whilst I’m drinking my coffee. My will to live and all of my people skills are in this mug - Ceramic Mug
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Today's mantra Punching people will land me jail time and I'm too soft for jail. Omm - Ceramic Mug
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I won't die without coffee, But you might - Ceramic Mug
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I was once a people person. But people ruined that for me. Now I'm a coffee person - Ceramic Mug
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I don't need your attitude. I've got my own - Ceramic Mug
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Live. Laugh. Love. Don't be a... - Ceramic Mug
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Trauma. Do you mean the reason why I'm so fucking hilarious - Ceramic Mug
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The devil whispered I'm coming for you. I whispered back bring coffee - Ceramic Mug
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Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a tea enthusiast. The more tea I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a coffee enthusiast. The more coffee I drink, the more enthusiastic I become - Ceramic Mug
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I hate when people don't get my sarcasm because I now sound like a bully - Ceramic Mug
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I'm a YOUR TEXT I work harder than ugly strippers - Personalised Ceramic Mug
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Your secrets are safe with me. I'm not even listening - Ceramic Mug
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I'm allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm - Ceramic Mug
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I won't be remembered as a person who keeps their mouth shut - Ceramic Mug
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I wish stupid people came with the mute button - Ceramic Mug
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Apologies for having a great rack and always being right - Ceramic Mug
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I don't have the energy today to pretend I like people - Ceramic Mug
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I have finally discovered what’s wrong with people. On the left side of their brains, there’s nothing right, and on the right side, there’s nothing left - Ceramic Mug
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If you hear me shouting at my children, just know, that I said it nicely 37 times - Ceramic Mug
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Live Laugh Fuck Off - Ceramic Mug
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Daily reminder some people are here just to test your patience - Ceramic Mug
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Proudly sponsored by blood, sweat and tears but mostly wine - Ceramic Mug
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Keeping my head high and my middle finger higher - Ceramic Mug
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Don’t you sometimes just want to say. You can’t possibly be that fucking stupid - Ceramic Mug
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We drink coffee in this place - Ceramic Mug
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Proud member of the overcaffeinated club - Ceramic Mug
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Apparently, alcohol is not the way to improve staff meetings - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or everyone around me is just fucking stupid - Ceramic Mug
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I refer to myself as a ‘free spirit’ because it sounds better than ‘out of fucking control' - Ceramic Mug
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I believe in being annoyed at first sight - Ceramic Mug
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Go away. I'm introverting - Ceramic Mug
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I have a very peopley job for a person who doesn’t like people - Ceramic Mug
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I’ve tried shutting up. It’s not for me - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no laundry to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got nothing to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no work to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m sitting here enjoying my brew like I’ve got no shit to do - Ceramic Mug
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I’m glad that my thoughts don’t appear in speech bubbles over my head - Ceramic Mug
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Good girls go to heaven. Bad ones get spanked - Ceramic Mug
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I’m in a pretty good mood today. I’ll probably tell you to fuck off, but I’ll have a smile on my face. I might not even give you the finger - Ceramic Mug
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‘We don’t lick people’ is the biggest lie we tell children - Ceramic Mug
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I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves - Ceramic Mug
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Didn’t care yesterday. Don’t give a shit today. Most likely won’t give a fuck tomorrow - Ceramic Mug
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Being sarcastic and being sincere sounds surprisingly similar - Ceramic Mug
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I can’t turn water into wine but I can turn alcohol into bad decisions and absolute chaos - Ceramic Mug
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Did you know that there’s a medicine for what you suffer from? It’s called cuntybiotics - Ceramic Mug
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I should be paid more for the amount of idiocy I need to deal with - Ceramic Mug
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Being at work is a social experiment testing the limits of my patience and ability to interract with idiots - Ceramic Mug
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Some people are just a waste of evolution - Ceramic Mug
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You can’t possibly still be shocked by what’s coming out of my mouth - Ceramic Mug
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I like to leave people more confused than how I found them - Ceramic Mug
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Some people are like twunts. Because twat and cunt just isn't enough - Ceramic Mug
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I might leave work early today, for whatever excuse you’ll believe - Ceramic Mug
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I wonder how many people listen to me and think if I get psychiatric help - Ceramic Mug
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Embracing the glorious mess that I am - Ceramic Mug
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I tried to be normal once. Worst experience ever - Ceramic Mug
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Dear life, could you at least use lube - Ceramic Mug
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There is someone for everyone. For some, it’s a psychiatrist - Ceramic Mug
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Of course I talk like an idiot. How else would you understand me - Cermic Mug
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Karmasutra When life screws you in all kinds of creative ways - Ceramic Mug
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I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time - Ceramic Mug
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Let’s see which emotional issues should I bury under layers of sarcasm today - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes practicing gratitude sounds like: Thank fuck for that - Ceramic Mug
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Today’s forecast: 100% chance of bullshit. 0% chance of giving a fuck - Ceramic Mug
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Assholery no longer tolerated - Ceramic Mug
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DO NOT DISTURB! Already disturbed. Proceed with caution - Ceramic Mug
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Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions - Ceramic Mug
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You are having a laugh - Ceramic Mug
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This mug is a sign for you to leave me alone - Ceramic Mug
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Stupid people shouldn’t breed - Ceramic Mug
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Prison is temporary, memories are forever - Ceramic Mug
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I wish I lacked common sense. You all seem so happy - Ceramic Mug
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I really want to be nice to people but some of you dickheads - Ceramic Mug
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Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept those that I cannot - Ceramic Mug
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I need a speed bump between my brain and my mouth - Ceramic Mug
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You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give - Ceramic Mug
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Common sense is not that common - Ceramic Mug
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From the bottom of my heart: I don’t care - Ceramic Mug
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I’m just an awkward, foul mouthed sarcastic delight - Ceramic Mug
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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap more people at once - Ceramic Mug
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Some days my supply of available fucks to give is insufficient for the demand - Ceramic Mug
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Some days the supply of available profanities is insufficient for my demand - Ceramic Mug
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It's hard to smile and nod when all I want to do is slap people in their faces - Ceramic Mug
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I'm not here to fit in. I'm here to stand out - Ceramic Mug
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I'm in my LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE era - Ceramic Mug
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I'm trying to be more positive person every day. Today, I'm positive everyone is a dickhead - Ceramic Mug
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I'm sarcastic because telling people to go fuck themselves is apparently rude - Ceramic Mug
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I have my own circus and my own monkeys. Keep yours away - Ceramic Mug
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Honestly, nobody cares - Ceramic Mug
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Coffee because crack is bad for you - Ceramic Mug
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Being nice is overrated. Just find a good lawyer - Ceramic Mug
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Apologies if I loook like I'm interested - Ceramic Mug
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I'm not trying to insult people. I'm just good at describing them - Ceramic Mug
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No Crisis Allowed This Week. My Schedule Is Already Full - Ceramic Mug
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Be Careful. My Mouth Can Hurt Your Feelings - Ceramic Mug
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I actually enjoy being this dramatic - Ceramic Mug
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Keep talking. I'm diagnosing you - Ceramic Mug
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If I ever say 'First Of All' - Ceramic Mug
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Perfect Brew - Ceramic Mug
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This is my daily dose of 300ml of fuckitall - Ceramic Mug
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When I said How Stupid Can You Be it wasn't a challenge - Ceramic Mug
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Out of all the therapies that I tried, only retail really works - Ceramic Mug
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